A Shift From A P̶r̶o̶b̶l̶e̶m̶ ̶S̶o̶l̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶M̶i̶n̶d̶s̶e̶t̶ To Problem Finding Mindset.
Last week, a friend called and told me about a serious dispute she had with someone. From our discussion, I empathized and I found out the issue could really sore their relationship. So, I asked her what she’s done about it. She told me they’re good, they’ve sorted it. Hmmm… In my mind, I know those sorts of solutions, they mostly happen because we want to be free and just let go. However, they result in creating a wider distance that kills intimacy and breaks communication in a relationship.
So, I went ahead and told her a short story about a small village called Jija. Jija, once a peaceful, powerful and loving village, suddenly found itself in the middle of the most notorious criminal cases which kept repeating itself over and over again. In response to this, the village chiefs agreed to hire the best security men to guide each corner and restore peace to the people. The result? even higher report of the same atrocities.
They tried other means of cubbing the robbery all to no avail until an old man was hired.
An old man? How? The best of security men tried stopping this situation but failed. “How will an old man achieve this” was the question in the mouth of all the villagers. Well, they gave him the benefit of the doubt and he immediately geared into action. The first step he took was permission to speak with 3 of the top village chiefs.
Again, people said he’s definitely crazy. We want an immediate solution, everyone cries.
Not perturbed by the pressure around him, he strode on and at the end of his interviews, the problem had been cracked and an instant solution recommended.
I know you’re asking what the problem was. Well, I’ll tell you. One of the village Chiefs, having contested for the King’s position and failed. He was filled with grudges and wanted the village to pay for it. He’s funded a group of deadly youths who know the in and out of the village and empower them to destroy, kill and make living unbearable under the new kingdom.
Rather than thinking solution first, the wise man looked out for a problem and by finding the root problem, he tossed in a solution that works.
Most times, creating an understanding relationship with your spouse, your friends might require us to dig deeper than the cause of the immediate issue at hand. Finding such solutions might sometimes mean we’ll have to break apart the relationship and then rebuild it with a stronger foundation.
If your home floor is always dirty for example, your first thought would be to buy a cleaner. But wait first… What if the real problem is your porous window that passes in dirt unwittingly?
To build a viable business and relationship, maybe it’s time to stop thinking about solutions, maybe it’s time to start thinking about problems.
